30 Face Tattoos That Aren't Gonna Get You Laid

Xavier in Funny

We can't possibly estimate's someone's appeal and performance in the sheets through their face tattoos no matter how shitty.

This is your average tattoo fails list. So sit back and calm your tats. Hopefully, you'll get better face tattoos than these guys.

Before the madness commences, we'll have to let you know not to take this post too seriously. No need to go and type a rant about how ignorant the writer of some bullsh-t article is. You might not agree with some of the things here and think that these people can very well get laid. Well, of course they can.

Stock Images
Stock Images
Hello Kitty ridiculous face tattoo
Hello Kitty ridiculous face tattoo

I mean, unless you belong to the same skinhead herd, or you're both turned on by Hello Kitty, or it could be you're both shitty tattoo enthusiasts, chances are most people won't really get aroused by your sexy face tattoo.

Pussy Eater
Pussy Eater

Recent from Funny

Get a good ol' white boy not only good for a one-nighter but someone to take home to your parents.
Get a good ol' white boy not only good for a one-nighter but someone to take home to your parents.
Oh, shut up, she seems like a very nice woman.
Oh, shut up, she seems like a very nice woman.
Whatever 'it' is, we're not sure we want to know.
Whatever 'it' is, we're not sure we want to know.
What year is this and who are you people?
What year is this and who are you people?
Horrible face tattoo
Horrible face tattoo
There to remind you what his best quality is.
There to remind you what his best quality is.
The poor guy seems to be very confused. You probably can't trust him with the rubber.
The poor guy seems to be very confused. You probably can't trust him with the rubber.
"You'll love me, I have a great sense of humour."
"You'll love me, I have a great sense of humour."
Guess he's not into some interracial fun. Sad.
Guess he's not into some interracial fun. Sad.
Instead of foreplay, there shall be a round of chess. One word: stalemate.
Instead of foreplay, there shall be a round of chess. One word: stalemate.
Ridiculous face tattoo
Ridiculous face tattoo
What lawsuit? The only suit we'll be seeing tonight is you in your birthday suit.
What lawsuit? The only suit we'll be seeing tonight is you in your birthday suit.
Sheesh, Adolf. Calm your tiny weiner.
Sheesh, Adolf. Calm your tiny weiner.
The closest he'll ever get to a pussy.
The closest he'll ever get to a pussy.
Check off Hello Kitty man on the list, we found him a great match.
Check off Hello Kitty man on the list, we found him a great match.
Ugly face tattoo
Ugly face tattoo
He's a freak in bed. (wink)
He's a freak in bed. (wink)
What's up with guys and tattoos of women's name on their faces.
What's up with guys and tattoos of women's name on their faces.
"If you can guess how many face tattoos I have, you get a kiss to any part of your body."
"If you can guess how many face tattoos I have, you get a kiss to any part of your body."

"My fist." (Because who the f-ck is Evelyn, am I right?)

Unless you get off of Mitt Romney
Unless you get off of Mitt Romney
It would probably quite difficult to hump someone who might be able to summon satan right in the middle of your sexy time.
It would probably quite difficult to hump someone who might be able to summon satan right in the middle of your sexy time.
Splash News
Splash News

Interesting story behind this mugshot:

"Here's the frightening face of split tongued, tattooed David Adam Pate, the man police in South Carolina say killed his pal in the woods. The 24-year-old, whose facial tattoos include a 'joker mouth', teardrops and 'Satan' above his right eye, allegedly murdered 33-year-old Ricky James five weeks ago and left his body for neighborhood children to find. He is seen in this bizarre jail mugshot sticking out his surgically forked tongue and showing off his '974' neck tattoo, which is the sign of street gang Gangster Disciples. He is charged with murder."

We heard he's single.

Not sure if Magneto or middle schooler wearing a wrestling head gear.
Not sure if Magneto or middle schooler wearing a wrestling head gear.
How we love funny men.
How we love funny men.
Got a call from Rick Genest, he
Got a call from Rick Genest, he
Told you, you need one, quality douche.
Told you, you need one, quality douche.
Lucky number sex-sex-sex.
Lucky number sex-sex-sex.
Fuck You face tattoo
Fuck You face tattoo

I think his intentions are pretty clear.

Oh look, it's a big tattoo of a nope, about to go down on you.
Oh look, it's a big tattoo of a nope, about to go down on you.
Fancy some nice BDSM, getting tied up with this bloke? (I am so funny.)
Fancy some nice BDSM, getting tied up with this bloke? (I am so funny.)
Horrible face tattooo
Horrible face tattooo

But some women and men won't mind slipping off their knickers from a single doze of that smouldering gaze.

Jeremy Meeks
Jeremy Meeks

Panties dropping faster than you can say 'felon possession of firearms'.

Teardrops face tattoo
Teardrops face tattoo

Accurate personal representation of everyone reading right now.

This is how you do it if you want tattoos that make panties drop.

Still waiting for the "how dare you judge" comments of people who clearly didn't read the italics above and probably have 'Only God Can Judge Me' tattoo.

Xavier

@Xavier

When she's not writing for Tattoodo, Xavier likes experimenting with art and organizing local music shows. We're kidding, she's probably asleep. Follow her on Instagram @claudia_strife

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