If Tattoos Could Talk...

Xavier in Funny

Oh-No Tattoos took a crack at it and posted this compilation of hilarious pictures depicting the kinds of tattoos we usually see.

I might have gone so deep into Tumblr that I came across this post. It's meant to be funny, but really, it's brutally honest. Again, don't take this too seriously or you might need some of those butthurt cream. It's yet again, a satire targeted at tattoo clichés. Easy now. We aren't really being too serious right now.

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I write a lot of articles like this. As much as I love tattoos and the tattooed community, it's a bit fun to take a piss at it now and then. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves once in a while. And you gotta admit, this is partially true. If it doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't, we believe you. But don't tell us these clichés don't exist!

Here, take this picture of a nice Japanese man assuring you we aren't even serious and you have to calm down those tats.

Kawaii-desu~
Kawaii-desu~
A tribal tattoo with no meaning
A tribal tattoo with no meaning
A tribal tattoo with no meaning
A tribal tattoo with no meaning

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In the last decade, when tattoos surfaced on the mainstream, the tribal style tattoo is one of the most common choice for tattoos among both men and women. It's not difficult to recognize nor does it look threatening. It's a staple tattoo for young men and sometimes women, who simply wants to get a tattoo to add to their appeal.

When they're obviously not part of any tribe in the Pacific, it's something you don't really ask about. It would be too awkward when he starts talking about how "these bold lines represent my inner energy and my potential".

Misguided expression of faith
Misguided expression of faith
Misguided expression of faith
Misguided expression of faith

These tattoos look better on Tumblr or Pinterest. Sometimes, I wonder if some people get these kinds of tattoos merely to take a high-res photo of it, top it off with a bunch of filters to upload on social media with a deep-sounding caption.

"Quote & found on Tumblr"
"Quote & found on Tumblr"
"Quote & found on Tumblr"
"Quote & found on Tumblr"

There are quite a lot of misguided young people who seem to have been getting tattoo at a whim these days. Again, blame it on the need for likes, reblogs, and retweets.

I am not a native nor do I have many dreams.
I am not a native nor do I have many dreams.
I am not a native nor do I have many dreams.
I am not a native nor do I have many dreams.

I come from a place where people are thrilled to see any positive reference which relates to their nation, especially on non-natives. So I wonder if Native Americans also feel the same. But I'm taking a wild guess that they aren't too thrilled to see their prominent emblems being used as fashion statements by people who, you know, they used to have an altercation with.

Look we match.
Look we match.
Look we match.
Look we match.

The first thing that comes to mind when I see matching tattoos on people that aren't family is "Will you ever regret having that done when you two have had a falling out?" Somebody has to answer that question for me. I don't know what it's like to have a similar tattoo with someone I've got bad blood with.

"Will you ever regret having that done when you two have had a falling out?"
"Will you ever regret having that done when you two have had a falling out?"

It's like a constant reminder of how naive I've been.

A celeb who died before I was born, but has a pretty face.
A celeb who died before I was born, but has a pretty face.
A celeb who died before I was born, but has a pretty face.
A celeb who died before I was born, but has a pretty face.

"Rasta" kids with Bob Marley tattoos are very good examples. Those people, too who have gotten themselves Che Guevarra tattoos. There's nothing wrong with getting tattoos of your role models. But make sure you actually know what they really stood for during their lifetimes and not of some misguided belief you thought you knew from them. Take Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn for example.

Greek letters
Greek letters
Greek letters
Greek letters

Because Chinese characters are so last decade.

In case I forget my name
In case I forget my name
In case I forget my name
In case I forget my name

This is so true! What is it with men and family names? I don't find it wrong but when I see these tattoos a burly-looking man flexing and screaming "MARTINEZ! MARTINEZ!" immediately comes to mind.

Regardless of these angel wings, I´m probably going to hell.
Regardless of these angel wings, I´m probably going to hell.
Regardless of these angel wings, I´m probably going to hell.
Regardless of these angel wings, I´m probably going to hell.

Angel wings are also quite common when it comes to back tattoos. It's either you see them on nice, liberated, Catholic girls who wants a bit of edge but not too much, or the girls who twerk on nightclubs every Saturday. Or both.

We´ll probably break up in 3 weeks.
We´ll probably break up in 3 weeks.
We´ll probably break up in 3 weeks.
We´ll probably break up in 3 weeks.

See "look we match" photo. If there's something worse than getting a matching tattoo with someone you're not on good terms with is getting a tattoo just for them. Sucks for you they won't have to pay for any laser treatment or any complicated cover up you never wanted anyway.

I am emotional but not imaginative.
I am emotional but not imaginative.
I am emotional but not imaginative.
I am emotional but not imaginative.

We're sorry, we just had to. I think this no longer needs any further description. Move along. (We discussed feather tattoos in here.)

My parents don´t know.
My parents don´t know.
My parents don´t know.
My parents don´t know.

I can confirm this! I once knew a girl who can't wait to turn eighteen years old just so she can get a "V-line tattoo" of something interesting. She didn't even know what to get, she just wanted to f-cking get the thing. Well, it does look a lot nicer than a 'tramp stamp'.

Only certain people will see this.
Only certain people will see this.
Only certain people will see this.
Only certain people will see this.

While the some of us are more interested in the quality of what they call a 'tramp stamp' tattoo, all the rest can see are the words "fuck me" in red letter. SMH.

This is supposed to be a constellation.
This is supposed to be a constellation.
This is supposed to be a constellation.
This is supposed to be a constellation.

Nothing wrong with 'ornamental' tattoos, but stars are kind of overrated, aren't they?

Overdone.
Overdone.
Faith tattoo.
Faith tattoo.

Here we go again with infinity tattoos! I genuinely want to hunt down whoever made young white people think that getting infinity tattoos is such a good idea that many tattoo artists everywhere are going on a protest soon to keep from these people

Bad idea tattoo
Bad idea tattoo
Bad idea tattoo
Bad idea tattoo

The only times knuckle tattoos are bad is when you decided to get something dumb tattooed on them. Unlike tattoos like back tattoos or even tramp stamps, knuckle tattoos are very exposed so you're gonna have to really think about it. Many workplaces allow tattoos but we all know hand, neck and face tattoos are very vulnerable places.

A quote I'll never be able to read.
A quote I'll never be able to read.
La Vita e Bella
La Vita e Bella

Seriously, don't trust your nape tattoo on just about any tattoo artist. Make sure you can trust the artist that you're certain you don't even need to check the work once it's done and you can walk out of the shop knowing he didn't screw it up.

I couldn't think of anything original
I couldn't think of anything original
Foot tattoo
Foot tattoo

This type of tattoo is mainly reserved for moms who need a little touch-up in their lives in hopes of feeling young again.

Here's that nice Japanese man reminding you to calm your tats.

Xavier

@Xavier

When she's not writing for Tattoodo, Xavier likes experimenting with art and organizing local music shows. We're kidding, she's probably asleep. Follow her on Instagram @claudia_strife

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