A Penis Tattoo Ends A Marriage

Xavier in Funny

Okay kids, these are the guys we've warned you about.

Stuart Valentino, who has a tattoo of a penis on his leg.
Stuart Valentino, who has a tattoo of a penis on his leg.

A man has been kicked out by his wife after tattooing a comedy penis - on his OWN LEG. Hapless Stuart Valentino inked the six-and-a-half inch member on his left thigh, so the end pokes out of his boxer shorts. The home-made love-length has caused no end of trouble for the 34-year-old, and caused his wife Samantha to kick him out of their family home in Southsea, Hants. The lorry driver, and father-of-four, said: "My wife hates it. In retrospect, I'm not surprised, it really is the stupidest thing I've ever done.

We've always joked around with shit like cock tattoos and how drunk you have to be by getting them. Well, here's a classic example when these things actually happen. 34-year-old Stuart Valentin0 apparently have gotten way piss drunk one night with his mates and happened to have a tattoo kit lying around somewhere. Little did he know that a lousy joke on a drunken night will be the last straw for his long-suffering wife, Samantha.

Stuart Valentino
Stuart Valentino

It was actually wife Samantha Valentino who was responsible for getting Stuart the tattoo kit. Knowing how her husband loves tattoos so much, she got him one for Christmas. It wasn't a decision she was proud of. And that's one of the reasons why we really have to start licensing guns.

Happy couple back then..
Happy couple back then..

Recent from Funny

"After I did it, my wife woke up in the morning screaming, because there was this massive penis poking out of the duvet. And the penis tattoo on my leg. It caused no end of rows, and she's now kicked me out of home. I deserve it, I suppose."

"My wife hates it. In retrospect, I'm not surprised, it really is the stupidest thing I've ever done," Stuart admits.

Stuart and Samantha Valentino
Stuart and Samantha Valentino

But that's not the only time Stuart acted like such a tool, he's been doing it since he married his wife, Samantha in 2013. I mean, we can forgive what he's done with his leg, because pretty much it's his skin and we're not the ones paying for his laser treatment.

Think she should take him back?

Ugh, downright nasty.
Ugh, downright nasty.

Xavier

@Xavier

When she's not writing for Tattoodo, Xavier likes experimenting with art and organizing local music shows. We're kidding, she's probably asleep. Follow her on Instagram @claudia_strife

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