This Guy Failed To Get Laid Because Of Hilarious Crotch Tattoo

Xavier in Funny

Tattoos are supposed to add up to one’s sex appeal, but what if your tattoos do the opposite? Just ask this guy with a crotch tattoo.

Flint with Bodyshockers host, Katie Piper - Lewis Flint/Facebook
Flint with Bodyshockers host, Katie Piper - Lewis Flint/Facebook

Meet 21-year-old Lewis Flint, a bartender from Grimsby, UK. He's the type of guy who finds tattoos a great way to humour life a bit. But as we all know, life has its way of humouring us back in its own, twisted way. He shares his story with UK-based documentary series, Bodyshockers.

Lewis Flint/Facebook
Lewis Flint/Facebook
Crotch tattoo, Lewis Flint/Facebook
Crotch tattoo, Lewis Flint/Facebook

At 16, Flint thought he had the best tattoo ever when he first got a tattoo of a vacuum cleaner on his crotch, with his penis serving as the hose. It was modelled after Henry the Hoover, a famous vacuum cleaner in the UK. We've seen worse, to be honest.

Lewis Flint/Facebook
Lewis Flint/Facebook

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“When I first got it done aged 16 I couldn’t stop getting it out, I got loads of attention,” he tells Bodyshockers. “I was a bit of a local hero, I loved it.” We get the picture, Flint must have been the life of the party.

But it wasn't until five years later that his well-loved tattoo—that must have once been a chick magnet—drove a certain girl away. “I was with a girl recently and I liked her, things were going well until we got naked,” he reveals. “When she saw it she said ‘What’s that? I am off!’ I was gutted, I never thought I would regret my tattoo when I got it done.”

Bodyshockers/Channel 4
Bodyshockers/Channel 4

“I can’t believe he has had the tattoo, it must be off putting for a lot of girls,” his mum agrees, not too surprised to know the tattoo freaked out the ‘poor girl.’ “You can’t take him seriously as it is ridiculous,” she adds.

Bodyshockers/Channel 4
Bodyshockers/Channel 4

That was the turning point. Flint finally got down to part ways with his old friend, Henry the Hoover. “When I think about that night the girl walked out it does haunt me and puts me off showing it to other women in the future,” he says. “I know laser removal is painful but never getting laid again would be more painful.”

Bodyshockers/Channel 4
Bodyshockers/Channel 4

The guys of Bodyshockers followed the 21-year-old to the laser clinic on his way to permanently bidding his farewell to Henry the Hoover but things didn't go exactly as planned. The pain from the actual removal procedure added to the fact that Flint's tattoo was placed on a particularly sensitive area made things unbearable for the Grimsby bartender. Twenty minutes into the session and he was done.

“The thought of that going round near my balls is unbearable,” he reveals. “I don’t know how people put up with 20 minutes of it. Laser is too painful for me to get rid of this tattoo, I am going to have to put up with it.” It seems like Henry the Hoover will be sticking around after all.

Bodyshockers/Channel 4
Bodyshockers/Channel 4

But seriously though, if it were up to us, she's not the one if she can't take a classic crotch tattoo joke.

Xavier

@Xavier

When she's not writing for Tattoodo, Xavier likes experimenting with art and organizing local music shows. We're kidding, she's probably asleep. Follow her on Instagram @claudia_strife

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