Icebergs are fucking lit, yo. They fucked up your boy the Titanic, and they’re probably coming for you next. The safest bet is to bow down to these frozen masses and stay the eff out of the North Atlantic Ocean. You could also try to appease these frozen gods with a chill iceberg tattoo, like the ones we’re featuring today.
An iceberg is also known as an ice mountain. They are large pieces of freshwater ice that have broken off from glaciers or ice shelves to freely float in the ocean. As James Cameron showed us all, an iceberg can cause some serious ass maritime problems. And the part of the iceberg that sticks out of water, the tip of the iceberg? It’s literally just the tip of the iceberg, with around 90% of an iceberg’s mass generally resting below the surface. There are six subclasses of icebergs based on their shape: tabular, wedge, done, drydock, pinnacled, and blocky. Each one possesses a host of deadly abilities.
Icebergs can be mind-blowingly huge. They can reach heights of up to 55 stories and consist of areas upwards of 4,200 square miles, which for those of you keeping score at home is larger than Delaware and Rhode Island put together. With sizes like that, you’d think only an idiot could run into one. But would it surprise you to learn that for centuries people of average intelligence have been hitting them with boats as well?
Thankfully, there is one last line of defense against icebergs – the International Ice Patrol. This ragtag organization of rockstar scientists is responsible for monitoring icebergs. Under the vigilant eye of the IIP, icebergs still just float freely in the ocean waiting for their next victims, but our heroes keep us up to date about their exact locations by relying on a network of satellite imagery.
The impetus for this article about iceberg tattoos actually came as I was reading the news today about a plan to tow an iceberg from Antarctica to the United Arab Emirates in order to mine it for drinking water. Potential validity of the reporting aside, this is an awful plan. Why would the UAE invite a known killer into the waters off of its coast? It’s just asking for disaster. It’s like trusting a wolf with a chicken coop. The Persian Gulf is teeming with all sorts of watercraft, of which the iceberg is a natural predator.
But wait, the dangers associated with icebergs just get worse. Someday, all the icebergs will melt and we’ll all be super boned. They are a necessary menace, and we’ll all surely miss them when the coasts are underwater. Thankfully, these rad iceberg tattoos will never melt. They’ll stand to remind us of better days, before Atlanta was a bustling seaport. So take a gander and these iceberg tattoos and know that we are all so fucked.
If you still want more after looking at those cool iceberg tattoos, you can make your own mini-icebergs at home. All you need is an ice cube tray, some water, a freezer, and your parent’s permission.