If you haven't had a chance to tune into Mystery Tattoo, live on Tattoodo's Facebook page every Friday at 10pm EST, you're fucking up.
There's an incredible feeling of power when you're able to click a few emojis on Facebook, forever changing the trajectory of some (un)fortunate contestant's life. You're like a low-level god with the ability to send someone through the rest of their life with a permanent piece of artwork marking their skin. Last week, it was a variety of bulldogs in compromising situations and outfits.
Viewers of Mystery Tattoo are like low-level gods controlling a contestant's destiny.
Last week, Mojo, the world's laziest bulldog, became the star of the show with a variety of themed challenges and designs that paid homage to a dog that is arguably the most lovable member of the Miami shop. Each round featured an insane caricature of Mojo and a challenge in his honor.
A spin of the wheel sent our first "loser" to the "glory hole" where Federico inked a drug-addled Mojo onto the contestant's thigh. Fortunately, Mojo is a hell of a muse and the tattoo came out really cool.
The remaining contestants got a hell of a surprise when they were tasked with completing one side of a symmetrical design. Being told to draw something on the spot like that isn't an easy feat, but one contestant decided to take some artistic liberties that the audience didn't agree with – he was voted the "loser" by a wide margin.
Ami gave him the option of getting the original design, a cool spin on a skull and crossbones featuring Mojo's face, or getting the actual drawing that caused him to lose. He manned up and got his own drawing forever inked onto his arm. We're not sure if it's the greatest decision he's ever made, but it'll make for a hell of a story.
The night's final challenge involved a combination of dog whispering, charisma, and dumb luck. Each contestant called for Mojo, and whomever he chose became the winner of a tattoo from Ami James valued at up to $1000. Not a bad prize considering there are no real "losers" on the show.
Our friend from Sweden proved to have Mojo's favor, and set an appointment with Ami for a new superhero-themed portrait while our loser received what was arguably the coolest tattoo to be done on the show thus far, a drawing of Mojo as a West Coast gangster.
There's more insanity in store for next week. Make sure to tune into Mystery Tattoo live on Tattoodo's Facebook page at 10pm EST every Friday and play god with us. Your vote can determine what one of these (un)lucky contestants has inked onto their skin for the rest of their lives.