For this post, I, SloppyJoe, will be playing the role of Tiffany Henderson, who is a former fan of Miley Cyrus, but now is disenchanted with her choices regarding drug use.
Hi, I'm Tiffany Henderson, the leader of our campus' Anti-Marijuana Coalition, and I'd like to start off this meeting by saying this...
Ummm...I don't know if you guys know this or not, but like...weed, aka marijuana, is illegal in like, a lot of states. It's a mind altering drug that can really make you think of weird things, not that I've ever tried it, but like you totally shouldn't do it.
Which is why I was dismayed when I saw pop sensation, Miley Cyrus took to Instagram to promote her pot-toking lifestyle. The formerly lovable singer posted a picture of a new weed tattoo she got on her ankle.
Doesn't she know? Doesn't she know that weed ruins lives? Doesn't she know that smoking weed leads directly to murdering your entire family? Doesn't she care about her father, Billy Ray? She's not putting him in danger by smoking this illegal-in-many-states substance.
It shouldn't have come as any surprise though. A few days earlier, she posted this picture wearing a sweatshirt that says "Smoke Weed Every Christmas."
I'm sorry Miley, but can you please refrain from puffing the reefer on Jesus' birthday? It's disrespectful to Our Lord and Savior, and quite frankly, I'm worried for you. I mean, should I call the cops or should your lover, Liam Hemsworth? That dreamy, hunk Liam Hemsworth.
I can't believe such a sexy Australian man would allow this sort of illegal behavior, but he filed a restraining order against me. It's like, I just wanted a picture with you, Liam! Sure, it was a picture of you asleep, while I crept up next to you after breaking into your house, but that's not the point! Don't you care about your fans? Like me? And now you're shacked up with a pot-smoking HUSSY LIKE MILEY CYRUS?!
If she doesn't care about engaging in this criminal activity, what's to stop her from stabbing you in the throat while you sleep? I'd never do that to you, Liam. Never.
So, Liam, if you could kindly please remove that restraining order, that would be amazing, and we can continue our love affair.
Thus concludes the meeting of the Anti-Marijuana Coalition. Adjourned!
Also, if everyone could write Liam Hemsworth a letter asking him to remove the retraining order, that would be awesome.