Editor's Note: A couple of months ago this story of animal cruelty was making headlines. While the story is no longer newsworthy, the takeaway is the same — don't tattoo your fucking pet.
We want to make sure that we don’t mince words, but, anybody who thinks that it is cool to give their pet a tattoo is a literal piece of human garbage. A putrid, festering sack of refuse with zero redeeming qualities.
As avid pet lovers, our blood was boiling the second we saw the viral video of a Russian tattoo artist showing off the sphynx cat that he had covered with gaudy black and grey tattoos. For an instant there was hope that it was just a hoax, any second a hand would come on screen with a sponge to wipe away all that black ink and everyone would have a good, hearty laugh. Then… nothing. This asshole actually tattooed his cat.
Let’s make one thing clear, what this jerk off did is animal abuse, plain and simple. Oh, the animal was under anesthesia you say, it didn’t feel a thing, you say. Fuck you, that doesn’t matter one bit. Actually, putting the cat under anesthesia — a process that can be life threatening — makes the situation worse. Would you be willing to risk your life to get a shitty nautical star tattoo? Of course you wouldn’t. So why should this poor cat have to endure that?
But wait, this pathetic excuse for a human actually makes things worse once he opens his stupid fucking mouth. “Of course, I feel sorry for tattooing her, because it’s not something she wants,” he says in the video. How can you feel sorry for the cat, you’re the dickhead putting it in the situation! This is simply insane. There’s a real simple cure for your guilt, buddy, just don’t tattoo the cat. Problem solved.
Look, it’s fun to get all worked up and talk about what an asshole this guy is, but this is a very serious incident that should end with the artist behind bars. Pets do nothing but give us love and bring joy to our lives, it is completely unacceptable to repay that affection by putting their life on the line to stroke your own ego.
If you really need to make a fashion statement with your pet, make it wear a hat. Or a sweater. Or those silly little galoshes. Don’t give it a tattoo. That’s not just hurting the animal’s dignity, it’s abuse. We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but thanks to this asshat’s actions we need to shout it out. DO. NOT. TATTOO. YOUR. PET.