HAIL, CORPORATE is Tattoodo's take on the ways we humans double-down on our capitalist instincts by honoring brands through body art. Previously we've taken a look at the joy that is Taco Bell and the Dunkin' Donuts that fuels our days. Today we look at the only soft drink that looks (and sometimes acts) like battery acid, Mountain Dew!
Back when we were little kids and didn’t know how to buy (or even do) drugs yet, we had to rely on more conventional means of altering our body chemistry for fun. Thankfully, liquid hyperactivity was readily available for our consumption in the form of a delicious, yellowy liquid — Mountain Dew.
Let’s face it, everyone loves Mountain Dew. From casual fans of motocross racing to professional motocross racers, America knows the most extreme drink on the market always has been and always will be the Dew. Those with extreme lifestyles have historically flocked to the drink. And can you blame them? Name one soda more extreme than the Dew. You can’t.
This delicious nectar was invented by Barney and Ally Hartman in 1940. The two were troubled by their inability to locally source their preferred mixer for whiskey during a time when sodas were highly regional. Thus, they created their own, going so far as to name it after a 19th century term for whiskey. After rocking the DIY soda scene for two and a half decades, the Dew signed with the majors in 1964 when it was acquired by Pepsi. Shortly after, the delicious yellow liquid was released upon all of North America, and a major love affair began.
Today, this wonderful soft drink comes in a variety of flavors such as Code Red, Live Wire, Pitch Black, Game Fuel, and our favorite, Baja Blast, available exclusively at Taco Bell. It was a rocky road to spinoff success. In the late ‘80s, Pepsi launched Mt Dew Red and Mt Dew Sport, both of which were less than well-received. Thankfully, errors are made to be learned from, and today the full line of Mountain Dew is equal parts delicious and extreme.
Here’s another hard fact: every single drink that is a direct competitor to Mountain Dew for the citrus soda market totally fucking sucks. When was the last time you heard someone try to order Mellow Yellow, Surge, or even Dr. Pepper’s Sun Drop? Exactly. When it comes to other citrus colas, we’d rather drink our own urine than something that isn’t a Dew.
And we’re not the only ones who love this tasty beverage so much. Just look at these extreme individuals who have adorned their body with perma-love for the Dew with tattoos. Sit back and crack open a cold one (or a warm one, Mt Dew is great at room temperature) and take a look at tattoo after tattoo honoring this great source of refreshment.
If those don’t make you want to get totally extreme, we don’t know what will. So, go grab the nearest dirt bike and take it off some sweet jumps or do that thing where you, like, wind surf down a sand dune. Just keep plenty of Dew on hand so that your extreme lifestyle doesn’t dehydrate you.