Old Man Yells At Cloud. No, You Shouldn’t Get a Neck Tattoo.

Old Man Yells At Cloud. No, You Shouldn’t Get a Neck Tattoo.

"I'm a millennial and I'll get these hand and neck tattoos if I want to." - The Guy Pouring My Coffee This Morning

Editor's Note: We love tattoos no matter where they are on your body, but not everyone in your day to day life is going to feel the same way. If you're young, please make your tattoo choices responsibly. 



Are you a tattoo artist? Are you an established rock star? Do you own a successful business? Are you a professional athlete of some kind? Are you absolutely certain that you have your life planned out and a bright, secure future ahead of you?


If you answered “no” to any of those questions you should also probably say “no” to a neck tattoo. In fact, you should probably say “no” to any tattoo that can’t be covered up in a suit.


Look, we get it. Neck tattoos are sexy as fuck. They’re a bold statement, and it takes a pretty bold person to get one. But that boldness should come from a strong sense of self, not some insecurity or immature YOLO or FTW type of nonsense.


Before you head to the Facebook comments to give us some anecdote about how you have a neck tattoo and you’re doing just fine in life, please hold up for a minute. We’re not here for you. You already made your decision, and we’re legitimately happy that it worked for you. We hope it continues to work out for you. This click bait article we’ve crafted is for all of the 20-somethings out there that see some moderately successful individuals with highly visible tattoos and think that is a viable option for just anyone.


It’s not.

Print this out, slam a few Ecto-Coolers, and head down to your nearest tattoo shop. #neck #necktattoo

All kinds of shit happens in life. Unexpected shit. Shit you can’t anticipate. Shit you never imagined happening to you. When you’re a fully functioning adult, you start to realize that you need to plan for that inevitable hurricane of shit that can reign down on you at any moment.


You know how people say you should make sure to have a rainy day fund? You know, that money you put aside for when things go sideways? That peace of mind money you squirrel away? You should treat the skin above the collar in the same way. You might need that skin in the future.


Maybe that cool job in that cool startup you’re working in is totally alright with you wearing t-shirts and jeans to work and being a hip, tattooed millennial. Maybe that vape store you started is killing it right now and you feel like a self-made man who doesn’t need to conform to society’s bullshit constructs. Maybe your band just got booked for Warped Tour and your agent got you a huge advance for your upcoming debut LP on Fat Wreck Chords. That’s fucking awesome. We’re fucking happy for you.


But maybe you end up finding out that the startup you’re earning an easy six figures from has an unsustainable burn rate, and suddenly you’re knocking on the door of some stuffy corporate office and they’re like, “Are you the bike messenger?” Or maybe people figure out that when you vape, it looks like you’re huffing robot dick and suddenly that shit is as uncool as we all knew it was deep down inside. Or maybe that band of yours finds out that you can’t make any money releasing LPs on Fat Wreck Chords because pop punk is for teenagers and underdeveloped adults. (Editor’s Note: controversial but totally accurate statement.)


So yeah, the point is that getting your neck or hands tattooed is a life-defining decision in many ways. It doesn’t make you a shitty person. It’s doesn’t mean you’re unemployable in any way. You won’t necessarily regret it. It will limit your choices moving forward.


Again: Getting tattoos that you can’t cover up with basic clothing can limit your options in life.


There’s no reason to rush into it. Save that skin for when you’re as sure of your life trajectory as possible.

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