Just when we thought we knew all the relevant tattoo nomenclature, we came across two words on Instagram that have forever changed our lives – ass blasters. “Ass blasters” is simply a fun way of saying “butt tattoos,” which is odd because saying “butt tattoos” is fun in and of itself. But now that we’ve found out about this hip lingo, we just needed to drop it in an article about a dozen times. Because at heart, we are 13 year old boys. So join us for a look at some rad butt tattoos. Excuse us, ass blasters.
Now, our biggest complaint about our own asses is that no one ever gets to see them. None of us rock thongs in public, so why should we adorn our tushies with sweet ass blasters that the world will forever be deprived of seeing? All of these ass blasters make us wish the world could forever stare at our sweet butts, but truth be told, we don’t even know what we’d get inked there. Choosing the right ass blaster sure is hard.
Ass blasters sounds like a fun video game, and it’s sure as shit something you do not want to type into Google Image Search. At least not yet. It is practically our duty to take these words back and make them synonymous with tattoos rather than the sort of thing that turns up when you do search those words. We sure feel sorry for the folks that make Ass Blaster brand hot sauce, as there has got to be a lot of customer confusion going on when they get Googled.
In the meanwhile, while we eagerly await that linguistic shift, let’s take a look at a handful of awesome ass blasters. It takes a special kind of someone to go out and get their butt tattooed, and we wholeheartedly salute all of these individuals and their life decisions.
Don’t all of these fantastic ass blasters just make you want to go out and get your own ass blasted? With tattoo ink, mind you, not in the other ways. We recommend tipping your artist heavily afterwards because they have to put their hands all over your butt and focus really hard on it, which is something that should be relegated to punishment for federal crimes.