By Clem Huntington
Now, ya’ll listen up ‘cause we here at Tattoodo are cotton to spin y’all a yarn ‘bout the greatest, red-bloodedest facet of America’s society today. Yassir, we’re talkin’ NASCAR. Rev up y’all’s engines, ‘cause we’s peelin across the ol’ startin’ line with some fast NASCAR tattoos.
Racin’ is close to the heart of every proud ‘n true American, but not them liberal socialists what like they got up there at the Tattoodo offices in New York City. That’s why I just had to reach myself out to firstname.lastname@example.org and write ‘em up an article ‘bout NASCAR before they cranked out a hot steamin’ dog turd of a piece which was upon a subject which upon they got no realistic notions. And hot damn, there is a couple bunches of sweet ass, pedal to the metal NASCAR tattoos out there. Best let a true fan sing them’s praises.
NASCAR is all about goin’ fuckin’ fast, man, y’all. It takes a bona-fide pro-fessional driver. Nope, scratch that, takes way more. Dale Earnhardt. Richard Petty. Dale Earnhardt Jr. These are true American heroes, ‘cause to race NASCAR ya gotta be he-ro-ic. But that’s not just it, ‘cause you gotta be pretty good at drivin’ too like I’s said before. Or you could jus’ be a funny-talkin’ pretty-boy like Jeff Gordon, but ya’ll don’t even wants me to gets started up on that.
Then ya got the competitive drive. I reckon that works on two levels, ‘cause of racecars and motivation. Basically, the point I’ma gettin’ to in roundybout way is that this is a sport for true athletes. Breaks my heart there’s no Olympic car racin’. Probly on account of all those backwards Eur-ope-eans used to doin’ all they drivin’ on the wrong sides a they roads. Now, I reckon y’all are thinkin’ “Clem, what about F1 racing?” Welp, open wheel cars are a disgrace to God’s creation. Those high and mighty Europe-folk, what with their socialized medicine and all, they should stick to racin’ bicycles. And gettin’ their asses whooped by an American at it.
NASCAR started in 1948.
Now, that you’re a-somewhat familiar with the subtle nuances of NASCAR, jus’ check out all these cool NASCAR tattoos. Sure make me want one. These people is all patriotic, good Americans, the kind of which y’all jus’ don’t see enough of on this here internet anymore. God bless ‘em, God bless racing, and God bless these United States of America.
These NASCAR tattoos is sweet as hell. Hope y’all liked my article, I’m cookin’ up another good one about bass fishin’ for ya’ll soon. Thanks for readin’, just gotta say RIP Dale One, a-hope heaven is one big left turn.
(Clem Huntington lives in Mobile, Alabama where he works as a CPA. He has a wife and five children, votes from the heart, and enjoys fishing, hunting, and, of course, NASCAR.)