‘Fifth Element’ Tattoos to Help Us Forget About ‘Valerian’

‘Fifth Element’ Tattoos to Help Us Forget About ‘Valerian’

Luc Besson may have just blown $200 million on a movie that sucks, but that’s ok by us

Well, the reviews are in and Luc Besson’s latest film, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, may very well be one of the worst movies ever made. New York Times critic A. O. Scott(LINK) said watching the film was akin to “crushing a DVD of The Phantom Menace into a fine powder, tossing in some Adderall and Ecstasy and a pinch of cayenne pepper and snorting the resulting mixture while wearing a virtual reality helmet in a Las Vegas karaoke bar.” But you know what? Besson gets a lifetime pass from us, as he’s responsible for some of the best entertainment we’ve ever known. Today we’re looking at tattoos of his sci-fi masterpiece, The Fifth Element.

I remember going to see The Fifth Element on opening night. The theater was packed and the only seats to be had were front and center. I didn’t know anything about the film, other than it was sci-fi. It blew me the fuck away in a manner which a film hadn’t managed to do in my young life.

The film stars Bruce Willis as Korben Dallas, a cabbie who unwittingly has to save the entire universe when the titular character, also known as Leeloo, falls into his life – literally, through the roof of his taxi. Leeloo is played brilliantly by Milla Jovovich, who throughout the film speaks almost exclusively in a language that she and Besson made up and reportedly would converse in on-set.

The movie is rounded out by a stunning performance from Gary Oldman as the villain Zorg. Throw in some perfect bit parts from Chris Tucker, Ian Holm, and even Luke Perry, mix with stunning visuals, and you have one of the best non-franchise science fiction films to ever exist.

Besson should be forgiven for his Valerian misstep. Beyond The Fifth Element, he is responsible for such great films as Nikita, Leon the Professional, and Angel-A. As a writer, he’s given us The Transporter, District 13, and the Taxi series (the original French versions of that awful Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifah movie). So what if he wasted around $200 million on one of the worst movies ever made? We forgive him and we’d let him do it all over again if it were up to us.

Check out some rad Fifth Element tattoos to take away the pain of Valerian. We hope Besson has another film of this caliber left in him. We just pray that after this someone is still willing to give him the money to make it.

Check out some rad Fifth Element tattoos to take away the pain of Valerian. We hope Besson has another film of this caliber left in him. We just pray that after this someone is still willing to give him the money to make it.


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