Recently I was sitting in the Tattoodo offices staring out the blind-less windows hoping for some inspiration. One of the higher ups noticed me and asked what was up. “Ah yes, inspiration can be tough at times. How about we give you $5,000 to travel to Scotland so you can write a really killer piece about it?” I was sold and 8,603 frequent flier miles later, I’m back to share some amazing Scotland tattoos with you.
I arrived in Glasgow and hunted down some old friends at a punk gig. I ended up staying with my pal Crawford. Before bed, we watched the DJ Screw documentary, the audio of which was mastered horribly. In the morning, I set out to find the heart of Scotland, to get a real feel for the country so I could share it with all of my wonderful readers. But I just ended up helping Crawford’s girlfriend move.
Scotland is a place where people move from one apartment to another. They’re not big on elevators, so you spend a lot of time carrying heavy sewing machines up and down stairs. I knew I was having a true Scottish experience that tourists spend thousands of dollars trying to get.
The next day I went to Edinburgh, which is a really lovely city. Without anyone remotely connected to me who needed help moving, I resigned myself to do the normal tourist things. I visited Edinburgh Castle, rising high above the rest of the city. I’d like to think there are some cool tattoos of this, but the fact that “tattoo” also means military procession and the castle is home to one of the most famous tattoos in the world has thwarted all attempts to find one. Still, the views were top notch.
I also visited the National Gallery and saw a lot of cool Scottish paintings. I didn’t write down any of the names of them, so I can’t find those tattoos either. I also climbed the 287 steps of the Scott Memorial which were far too narrow for my big American frame. And I walked the Royal Mile, the namesake of dozens of shitty American bars.
All in all I had a nice trip to Scotland and I think I spent the company’s money wisely. Back in the states and full of inspiration, I now present to you a handful of tattoos that encompass all that is Scotland, something which couldn’t be accomplished with a simple Google search had I not taken this trip of a lifetime.
If these Scotland tattoos make you want to visit, I recommend going. Just ask your bosses for the cash for the trip. If they’re anything like mine, they’ll be happy to give it to you.