Ever since they ate that guy back in the Bible, whales have been the most fearsome fish in the ocean. These massive creatures can swallow you and everything you love in one enormous bite, then rip you to shreds with their gigantic jaws filled with razor sharp teeth. While we here at Tattoodo are not exactly marine biologists, we are fascinated by whales. So we thought we would share some great tattoos and impressive facts with you.
1. Whales may seem dangerous, but more people are killed by falling coconuts each year!
2. Unlike you and me, whales are always growing new teeth. So when they lose one it just falls to the ocean floor, then a new one shows up and they are ready to chow down again. They don't even have to get a crown or anything.
3. Whales don't have any bones in their bodies. Instead they are filled with delicious, cotton candy flavored cartilage, and filled with helium. Kinda like a blimp.
4. While known for swimming in the oceans, one species of whale, the "Wale," has learned to walk on land and record albums.
5. Jaws was first written about a Humpback Whale gone berserk, as they are known to do. But complications due to a strike by the Union of Professional Whale Actors led to Steven Spielberg being forced into hiring a shark to play the role at the last second.
6. There are no actual whales in the nation of Wales. Although, there is a large red dragon that keeps the populace in check.
7. Willy never wanted to be free in the first place. He much preferred chilling in that little tank and having his food brought to him by Jesse. This is the whale equivalent of free bottle service at a club, and it was tremendous, but it would make a pretty boring film.
There you go! Everything you need to know about whales, and some really nice tattoos. We hope you appreciated Tattoodo's Jack Coosteau impression and learned a little something.
[Editor's Note: This entire article is incorrect garbage. There are no facts. If anything, some of these are about sharks, and the rest are fabricated idiocy. But it's late on a Friday afternoon, it's frickin' beautiful out, and we want to go home. The tattoos are all pretty sick, and of whales, so we're gonna let this all slide. If you really dig whales, and you should, you can learn actual information about them here. Sorry we let you down here, but, you know, Friday...]