Are You Ready for Some Football Tattoos?!

Are You Ready for Some Football Tattoos?!

The NFL finally kicks off the season tonight and we couldn't be more excited.

Our long national nightmare has finally come to an end. No, I’m not talking about the Trump presidency, but instead an even more terrifying evil that has plagued our nation since early February. Every since the Patriots shocked the world with their epic comeback against the Falcons in the Super Bowl, we have lived in a cruel world without a single play of competitive NFL football. During this time I have been forced to interact with my family, pay attention at work, discuss feelings with my lady friend, and a whole myriad of other horrors too plentiful to name. All that ends at 8:30 pm tonight when the Patriots host the Chiefs and holy shit I can’t believe it’s finally happening! FOOTBALL!!!!

Look, I am a fan of all sports. Just some of the many sports that I enjoy are baseball, hockey, some basketball, team handball, boxing, skiing, skateboarding, curling, hurling, and twirling (my name for figure skating). Hell, I even host a podcast covering fantasy English Premier League. But none of these get my blood pumping like the NFL. Sure, players are shortening their lives for our entertainment, and I feel genuinely shitty about that, but my god is it entertaining. From noon to midnight on Sundays (and for some ample time on Thursdays/Mondays as well) I will be glued to a bar stool watching every single second of NFL action that I can. Is the late Monday night game between the Chargers and Broncos going to be any good? Not a chance in Hell. Will I watch this game in its entirety? You can be goddamn sure I will!

I barely even care that my Chicago Bears are likely to be the laughingstock of the league, as long as we cover the spread most weeks it’s all gravy to me! Because it’s not just the start of football season…. It’s gambling season too! Betting on football — whether it be playing DraftKings, participating in 10,000 fantasy leagues, or grabbing a handful of parlay sheets from the doorman of your office building — is even better than watching football. And watching football is pretty fucking good.  

I’ve had this day circled on my calendar forever and I’m getting antsy just thinking about it. Is it kickoff yet? CURSE THESE SLOW MOVING DAYS! I know I’m not the only one freaking out and staring at the clock right now. You know how I know I’m not alone? Because there are a bunch of people with kickass football tattoos. These people love their NFL team so much that they wear it on their skin. Do you know how ballsy this is? What if the team moves? Cover Up City. But that shit doesn’t matter right now, because football starts tonight. Finally.

Unless you live in Florida. Then you have to wait a week and please be safe. But, for the rest of us, LET’S DO THIS!!!!

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