Embracing Our Accelerated Deaths With French Fry Tattoos

Embracing Our Accelerated Deaths With French Fry Tattoos

French fries are going to kill us! And that’s fine, we don’t really care

This week the internet got the sad news that French fries will kill you. And here we thought we were expanding our lives with greasy fistfuls of fried potatoes. This is such sad news, as some of us here at Tattoodo live off of a diet that is 70 to 80 percent French fries. Given that science has never made any of us change a goddamn thing in respect to our health, we’ve all accepted that death will be coming for us sooner rather than later. In memory of our shortened time on this earth, we’ve got some sizzling French fry tattoos for you.

There’s that classic bullshit story that French fries are American because some dude from Paris, Texas rocked up to a world’s fair to sell his fried potatoes. Legend has it that people misunderstood his being from Paris, Texas to mean he was from France, and thus the name French fries. Well consider that myth busted.

There’s actually a hot debate as to whether French fries originated in France or Belgium. The Belgians claim their fries originated around the 1680s, while France only lays claim to inventing the food circa the 1770s. We’re going to given the nod to the Belgians here for two important reasons. One, Belgian fries are amazing. They take that shit super seriously and it’s practically the national food. The best fries I’ve had in my life were in Belgium. Two, fuck France.

It strikes me now writing this piece that there’s probably a hefty weight of truth to the aforementioned study because everyone from Belgium and France that lived in the 1700s is dead. Our greasy fates sealed, we have but one last task before giving ourselves to death’s sweet embrace – showing you some pictures of some super crispy French fry tattoos.

Don’t these French fry tattoos just make you not want to live forever? Us too. See you on the other side, brothers and sisters.

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