"When the weight of the world has got you down, and you want to end your life. Bills to pay, a dead end job, and problems with your wife. Don't throw in the towel, because there's a place right down the block where you can drink your misery away... Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away."
Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what?
Hey, Homer came up with the drink, but I came up with the idea of charging $6.95 for it.
And she trashed my bar! No, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.
I like creating disappointment. You know that little moment when people's hope dies? I feed on that.
You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt!
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.
X-mas is a good time to pick up alcoholism. You have to deal with your relatives 365 days a year. Leave at least 1 day for your bartender.
Sure, Homer, I can loan you the money. However, since you have no collateral, I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance.
Feel better? Everyone's life looks a little rosier once you've spent some time in Moe's shoes. If you're still feeling a little down, check out some more Simpsons tattoos. If you are looking for the spiritual opposite of Mr. Szyslak, let us introduce you to Ned Flanders. And if you have your very own tattoo tributes to Springfield, please share them with us on the Tattoodo app by using the hashtag #thesimpsons .