Napoleon is one of history’s greatest perverts. He would routinely send really dirty letters to his wife Josephine instructing her to keep her special lady parts unwashed until he returned home from making war. Additionally, for some reason he found her pubic hair to be a proper muse for poetry. Eventually, she took a lover, and the British attempted to use Napoleon’s new status as a cuck to humiliate him. Napoleon, of course, is less famously remembered for being a military genius and emperor of France.
The life of Napoleon starts in Corsica in 1769. By the time the French Revolution broke out 20 years later, Napoleon was already an artillery officer in the French army. Against the backdrop of the revolution, the young officer was able to quickly ascend the ranks and by the age of 24 was already a general.
He won a string of impressive victories during a military campaign in Italy, along with a good deal of fame and public approval. A short time later he led a military expedition to Egypt — where he may have blown off the nose of the famed Sphinx — cementing himself as a national hero. This eventually allowed him to seize the position of First Consul of the Republic, but this proved not enough for the ambitious general, and in 1804 he became the first ever Emperor of the French.
From the moment Napoleon became emperor, different European nations began warring against him, wary of his ever-growing power. The deft and cunning emperor was able to defeat all challengers for quite a while. However, Napoleon was eventually defeated and exiled.
Of course, this turn of events did not sit well with Napoleon, and he quickly escaped and regained power. Pretty much all of Europe had had more than enough of his shit by now, and at the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon was famously defeated and promptly exiled again. This time he did not escape; he died powerless in exile a few years later.
He left behind a great legacy as one of the most brilliant military leaders ever seen by humanity. To this day, his tactics are taught in military schools all over the globe. People across the world hold a great reverence for the little general, and routinely get his likeness tattooed on themselves. Here are a handful of tattoos to remind us of the life of one of history’s greatest perverts.
Wow, there sure are some impressive representations of the little guy in tattoo form. Actually, the idea that Napoleon was particularly short is a historical inaccuracy. He stood at 5’7”, taller than average for his time, but at his death his height was recorded as 5’2”, but this was in French measurement, which would really make him five inches taller.