Recently, I spent 10 days in Japan. The trip was glorious and I had a blast, but it came with one string attached. You see, Japan doesn’t really have any pot. Well, there is pot, but you really need some good connections and deep pockets as a gram of the stuff can run upwards of $100. So, I made the ultimate sacrifice in the name of travel and essentially spent a week and a half being straight edge. Sobriety is a funny thing, and after a few days of it, I immediately felt superior to everyone else in my life. I thought perhaps the best way to capture this feeling forever would be by getting a straight edge tattoo.
Straight edge is the philosophy of a drug and alcohol free lifestyle. Despite being popularized by the band Minor Threat in the early ‘80s, straight edge culture has only produced one good band since. (Editor’s Note: Fair point)
Yet straight edge bands enjoy a high level of popularity, given straight edgers willingness to disregard the sonic qualities of anything that reinforces their world views.
As I don’t really like alcohol, it was very easy to immerse myself in this new way of life while I was in Japan. My mind felt sharp and clear. I started being able to solve simple math problems in my head. However, I still look hella baked in every photo taken of me during this time.
When I got home from the trip, I immediately got stoned. Not because I’m a drug addict, but because I was bored and about to play video games. Un-nailed to the x, my visions of a sweet new straight edge tattoo faded faster than my pot-addled mind. But that’s fine, because there’s already enough straight edge tattoos out there. Just take a look at some and re-evaluate your life.
Don’t these awesome straight edge tattoos just make you want to listen to Earth Crisis? Yeah, us neither.