Is there anything in this world more badass than snake tattoos? The answer is no. We’re going to dig deep into our biology notes from community college and blow your mind with some snake facts. We’re also going to blow your mind with some beautiful snake tattoos. Because we are firmly in the business of blowing minds.
Backpiece by Tim Hendricks, Saltwater Tattoo.
There are over 250 species of snakes on this planet that can kill a human with one bite. Snakes are like lizard worms if worms had eyes and teeth. If you cut a worm in half, you’ll have two worms. Sadly, snakes do not work like this.
Some snakes have over 200 teeth, despite the fact that snakes cannot chew. These teeth face backwards and exist solely for keeping half-swallowed prey from escaping. It is possible for a snake to kill itself with its own venom if it accidentally bites itself. Although we’re pretty sure in most of these cases it just looks like an accident, as to not upset the snake’s loved ones.
From Anaconda to Snakes on a Plane, Hollywood has been solidly obsessed with snakes forever. Unfortunately, modern CGI has put most Hollywood snake handlers out of business. Speaking of anacondas, they mate in giant balls consisting of one female and up to twelve males. This can take a month. Even snakes get laid way more than you! Now, that’s cold-blooded...
Two-headed snakes are a reality of nature that happens occasionally. They often do not survive because one of the heads will try to eat the other one. This is the perfect metaphor for what happened to my parent’s relationship.
Thanks to a virus found in mice, some snakes are now facing the threat of “mad snake disease,” which makes them tie themselves in knots. Boy, we sure hope this virus doesn’t mutant into “mad human penis disease.”
Now, I know we’ve made snakes look as though, but also they are cute and charming. However, keep in mind, snakes kill over 40,000 human beings a year. Take a look at the beautiful snake tattoos examples we’ve lined up for you today and reflect on how sick all of these people look with a snake tattoo.
Well, there you have it, our hard hitting expose on beautiful snake tattoos. If you don’t want a snake tattoo now, you never will.