McDonald’s Tattoos For The Literal Fast Food Junkies

McDonald’s Tattoos For The Literal Fast Food Junkies

The golden arches are like glorious, motherly breasts to us all.

The golden arches of McDonald’s are ingrained in the brains of nearly everyone in the world. This is because they look like breasts and the design was deliberately kept for this reason. No, really. Louis Cheskin, a design consultant hired by McDonald’s in the 1960s, argued that the arches represent “Mother McDonald’s breasts,” and held a deep Freudian appeal to consumers. And we’ve all been happily suckling at these teets our whole lives. In honor of the subconscious hold the brand has on all of us, we’re bringing you some McDonald’s tattoos.

I have fond memories of being an obese youth, chowing down two triple cheeseburgers or twenty McNuggets in a visit. Even though I’ve been a vegetarian for twenty years, I can still taste the sweet dead flesh served up in way-too-large portions.

This is because the food at McDonald’s has been specifically designed by culinary scientists to activate the same happy chemical receptors in our brains that are affected by illegal drugs.

No, really. Sugar affects the same dopamine receptors as cocaine, and McDonald’s puts sugar in everything, including its fries.

McDonald’s has also geniusly and aggressively marketed itself to several generations of children through its Happy Meals. Getting consumers addicted at an early age is a shrewd marketing strategy that has paid off handsomely for the fast food giant. This proved too evil of a plan for even the sinister bastards at Disney,  in 2006 the Disney corporation quietly cut all ties to McDonald’s lest they be associated with childhood

Hats off to you, McDonald’s. You’ve turned several generations of consumers into literal fast food junkies. Is it any wonder some of them would allow their dopamine and cholesterol-addled brains to come to the decision that a McDonald’s tattoo is the right choice. Let’s take a gander at the results of some of these great decisions as we gaze lovingly at some McDonald’s tattoos.

Don’t these McDonald’s tattoos make you want to run out and enjoy about 3,000 calories of artery-clogging goodness? We say go for it. Death is already lurking at every corner, why not actively invite him into your life?

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