No One Will Ever Love You As Much As Netflix Loves You

If you’re anything like us, you hate being off the couch and out in the real world more than anything. Thankfully, civilization is doing a great job of letting us devolve into couch-locked beings who don’t have to ever deal with the burden of other people. And perhaps none have been as instrumental into helping us make this leap forward than the kind beings behind Netflix.

Netflix was founded in 1997 and quickly disrupted the home video market in ways that few could predict. Today, more than 60 million people subscribe to the service and these users watch a combined 11 billion hours of content a month.

Never in the until-now sad history of our species has so much entertainment been accessible to us so easily. This allows other superfluous activities such as learning, socializing, or being physically fit to take a back seat to what really matters in this world – shoving entertaining content into our brains in vast quantities as quickly as possible.

Thanks to Netflix, all of this has never been easier. No more rewinding VHS tapes or getting up to swap DVDs. Endless entertainment belongs to our species and Netflix has allowed us to evolve into our perfect form.

No longer content with just merely peddling entertainment made by others, Netflix has been quickly amassing a library of quality original productions that put any TV network to shame. Shows like Stranger Things, Orange is the New Black, Daredevil, House of Cards, and Fuller House are gifts to us from our new gods. They do this for one reason. They love us. They want us to be happy. Future gifts include such series as The Defenders, Frontier, Santa Clarita Diet, Mindhunter, and Dear White People.

We don’t know why you’re wasting your time looking at a website about tattoos while there’s literally months of quality content on Netflix, both original and licensed. Just to make sure you get the point that you are engaging in antiquated entertainment, take a look at some loyal humans who have tattooed their love for our overlords at Netflix forever on their boring analog flesh. While doing so, think about all the effort you’re going to put into clicking to the next article. Netflix just gives you the next episode automatically. If only we could be so kind.

Now that these sweet tattoos of have been presented to you in such an archaic fashion, why not get with the rest of your kind, plop down on the couch, imbibe six to eight hours of nonstop quality entertainment, and forget about everything else. Nothing else is real. Netflix is your one true reality now.