Way back in the 18th century a bunch of likeminded people rallied around a groundbreaking concept — that monarchies and the very concept of royalty are backwards ideas. And that’s the guiding principle of what would become the United States, that no person should receive any sort of privileges entirely because of who their parents are.
Of course, when you look at today’s America it’s easy to forget this. Sure, we don’t have a king (no matter what Trump thinks), but we certainly worship our celebrities. Even worse than that, we worship celebrities’ entire families, friends, acquaintances, and the people that they hooked up with at a strip club. Entire industries are dedicated to documenting these people’s lives, including whenever they get tattooed. And that brings us to Paris and Prince Jackson.
Apparently the duo went and got matching tattoos over the weekend. A yin and yang. Cute. This is the part of the article where we’re supposed to go on and on about how adorable it is that they are bonding in this manner, that it was a great concept executed brilliantly by Artist X, while liberally quoting from an Instagram post to make our word count. Fuck that noise.
Instead we want to ask the question, why the hell do we care about this? All the Jackson kids have done in their lives to earn our adoration is possess the DNA of the dude that sang Thriller. Look, these kids already inherited a mountain of money and a creepy amusement park that could use a wash with an oil tanker’s worth of bleach, why should they dominate our headlines too? Yet over a million people feel the need to follow Paris’ comings and goings on her Instagram. They’ll know what Paris had for dinner, where Paris got tattooed, what movie Paris saw, but have no fucking clue when their own mother’s birthday is.
We may have eradicated the monarchy when we told England to go fuck themselves back in 1776, but we created a void in our souls. We still have that desire to look up to people and imagine that their lives are so much better than ours, and maybe, just maybe, we can achieve that level of happiness if we work hard enough. Or if our dad records an incredibly shitty album that still sold over 10 million copies. Either way, just give us the fame.
Wanna see some cool sibling tattoos by normal folks? Check out this article. Or, if we haven’t shamed you out of the despicable celebrity worship that plagues our nation, check out the gallery below of Paris and Prince Jackson and their tattoos.