Sorting Hat Tattoos Will Choose the Course of the Rest of Your Life

Sorting Hat Tattoos Will Choose the Course of the Rest of Your Life

Harry Potter week rages on like a wildfire or an outbreak of the clap with these Sorting Hat tattoos

Welcome to Tattoodo's Harry Potter Week! We kicked things off by sorting all of our employees into houses, which went about as poorly as expected. Then we shined the spotlight on Harry himself, and then hit up the pure nightmare fuel that is the Dementors. We even questioned the ethics of owning a house elf. Be sure to check back all week for a slew of Hogwarts-centric tattoos.

One of the most magical of all magical objects in the world of Harry Potter has got to be the Sorting Hat. Every year the new students at Hogwarts line up and take turns wearing the Sorting Hat before passing it on to the next student, just like junior year of high school when my friends and I only had one condom between the six of us. In honor of the magical hat (and also because I’ve never written an article about a hat before and it seemed like a fun challenge) today we’ve got some Sorting Hat tattoos for you.

Now, admittedly I know very little about the world of Harry Potter. I know that there’s like a school for kid magicians or something and they get into all sorts of wacky hi-jinx and Hans Gruber kills Lt. Gen. Leland Zevo, the antagonist of 1992’s highly misunderstood Toys. But is there more to this fictional universe beyond these facts?

Probably not. Anyway, back to this hat. The Sorting Hat decides which dorm you’re in, I think. It will tell you that you’re Huffleclaw or Ravenpuff or spending the year in off-campus housing because there’s not enough money to fix the dorms from the ‘80s even though the school is paying the football coach 3 million dollars a year.

Whenever Harry Potter comes up in conversation, my go-to response is to look whomever is trying to engage me in a conversation about children’s literature square in the eye and with all the seriousness I can muster ask, “Do you think the Sorting Hat is ever wrong?” Then, while they are trying to reason out their answer, I enjoy walking away from them.

So, before I walk away from this article, why not check out these totally magical Sorting Hat tattoos?

Aren’t these Sorting Hat tattoos just the type of bullshit that makes you want to try to engage me at a party about some books I was too old to get into when they came out? So, dear reader, do you think the Sorting Hat is ever wrong?

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