Karl Marx famously said religion is the opiate of the masses, but that’s only because he died before the advent of television. Well, maybe the analogy that television is the opiate of the masses is a little off. After all, how many children are practically raised by opiates? That’s a rhetorical question, we really don’t want to think about it. In homage to our wonderful surrogate parent, we cordially invite you to tune in to these awesome TV tattoos.
Last night, I purchased a 50 inch hi-def television. I hadn’t really planned on it; there was nothing wrong with my previous TV. I guess this is just the sort of thing that happens when you actually get paid semi-regularly and go to Wal-Mart super baked. I only really have previous experience with one of those things.
Anywho, this thing is great. It’s just so big and crisp and makes never leaving the house even more attractive. And it’s really reconnected me to what television is, what it represents, and the roles it played in my formative years. We all spent the ‘90s suckling at the teet of cathode ray tubes. And it was great – much better than interacting with our biological parents.
Nowadays, kids grow up on the smart phones and the YouTubes. While TV sets are still present in almost every child’s life, they’ve lost their status as the singular focal point they used to be. I think the world is doomed simply for the fact the the generation after mine never had but four television stations as their only option for entertainment.
There exists a sad truth that I probably learned as much from the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons than I did in four years of college. It didn’t cost me tens of thousands of dollars. It didn’t cost me anything. I spent my youth untangling the densely layered references, expanding my vocabulary, and having my wit sharpened – all within the context of The Simpsons. I watched some PBS too, and probably learned some shit from that as well.
Television has given us all so much. There’s only one way to properly thank it for the countless hours of endless entertainment. Yup, you guessed it – with a sick TV tattoo. So don’t change that channel, just sit back and enjoy some more quality Tattoodo programming with these television tattoos.
Don’t these tv tattoos make you want to go out and buy a bigger television that you in no way need? Do it up. Then join us next week for another exciting look at tattoos, same Tattoodo time, same Tattoodo channel.