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German Doctor Demands Soccer Teams Ban Tattoos

German Doctor Demands Soccer Teams Ban Tattoos

Sports2 min Read

While arguing that tattoo ink poisons the blood, a German doctor calls for elite soccer teams to ban their players from getting tattooed.

As the only player to ever win the coveted Balon d’Or five times, Lionel Messi is likely the world’s best soccer player in the game today, and arguably the greatest of all time. [Editor's Note: I'm American and we're published in New York, so we're calling it soccer to avoid confusion. I know this will pain many of you, so, sorry.] While playing for Barcelona he has set the record for goals in La Liga (351), goals in a club season in Europe (73), and goals in a calendar year (91), and combined with his international career playing for Argentina he has scored over 500 goals. Yet, Dr. Ingo Frobose insists that his career numbers could be far better if it weren’t for one thing — Messi’s collection of tattoos.

Now, if Frobose was arguing that it was a bad idea for players to get tattoos during the season, it would make some sense. Healing tattoos are open wounds and it might not be a lot of fun to hit a soccer ball with them, but to suggest that every single tattoo a player gets permanently hampers their ability to play is pure insanity. You know who has a lot of tattoos? English legend David Beckham. Manchester United striker and all around enjoyable human being Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Tim Howard, the greatest American born player in a generation in my humble opinion. Kyle Walker, the Manchester City defender who just set the record transfer fee for a player at his position. Lionel Fucking Messi. The list goes on and on and on.

Going back to Messi, we think the only way to get Dr. Frobose to come back to reality would be to force him to watch every single game that Barcelona plays. Then he can see how wrong he is every time Messi (or Luis Suarez, or Paulinho, or Ivan Rakitić etc.) puts the ball in the net he’ll see just how wrong he is.  

Charlie Connell
Written byCharlie Connell

Likes: writing, baseball, dumplings, American Traditional tattoos, punk rock. Dislikes: kale, things that look like kale and words that rhyme with kale. Managing Editor @tattoodo

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